One Last Cry
by Muse-at-dawn
Summary: Reela a songfic based on the song of the same name... yeah it's sad... sorry I'm not good with summaries... R


**A/N: I decided to write this just because I was a bit bored, so it's not the great thing, even that I hope you read this**

**The story is based on the song "One Last Cry" played originally by I don't know who, 'cause I was listening to Westlife's version, it's nice so I wrote it**

**Disclaimer: anything is mine, only the story and no, I don't have any regains for writing this**

**Spoilers: none, at least I don't think so**

**Dedicated to the Reela fans, **

**ONE LAST CRY**

Four months passed since her husband died, in that four months she never talked to him unless it was something really necessary and that hurt, it seemed like their friendship had died and they didn't notice… his shift ended an hour ago but he is still there in the hospital hoping that he could see her before she leave and he did, but he didn't like what he saw

He was leaving the lounge and saw her entwining fingers with Gates and Ray thought that a stab would be painless… he didn't see if they kissed each other or not, just leave that harmful scene that really hurt him…

He ignored the people he passed on his way to the roof… even ignored the callings of the other doctors… he didn't want to hear nothing else…

_My shattered dreams and broken heart  
Are mending on the shelf  
I saw you holding hands  
Standing close to someone else_

The view over the city was beautiful and peaceful but he didn't care… he was looking without seeing, absentmindedly wondering if he has to bear with the picture of Neela being happy with Gates… the only idea made his fists closed angrily

- what did you give me?- he asked to the sky

Ray wished all his feelings could fade away in any moment… but that was impossible… he remembered all the times he shared with Neela… when he found out how much he love her… how much it hurt when she left him… how much he hated to found his empty apartment, wishing to see her again… he couldn't take her away of his mind… that was anything to do with that…

_Still I sit all alone  
Wishing all my feelings gone  
I give my best to you, nothing for me to do_

The day Neela pushed him away from her life; Ray thought that might be only because she was mourning and that soon things would be fixed between them… but that never happened… somebody was behind him, he didn't care about that

- I was looking for you- said Kerry's voice  
- For me?- he asked vaguely  
- Yes, I wanted to offer you something- she interrupted- are you alright?

He nodded, but he wasn't… only that he didn't want to show weakness in front of her

- Are you sure?  
- Yeah, what's going on?  
- A doctor from a private hospital in California, requested me to send him one doctor in who I put all my trust  
- So?  
- You're that doctor Ray…  
- I think you should think about Luka or Pratt  
- I should, but they had their lives here in Chicago, I think this could be a chance for you  
- California?- he asked- what am I supposed to do there?  
- Work – she replied simply- are you interested in the job or are you not?  
- May I consider?  
- I guess, but don't take much time, this offer is not forever

Ray nodded, and Kerry left him… he had to think about it, what can he do? Honesty he wanted to go, at least to keep his sanity, but he thought he couldn't live thinking about Neela and Gates being happy… together… maybe Neela could forget all the moments they lived as roommates but he couldn't… he felt hot tears forming in the corners of his eyes while he thought this, and realizing that his friendship with Neela was someway over, made them streaming down his face… and he didn't try to control them…

_But have one last cry, one last cry_  
_Before I leave it all behind  
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie  
I guess I'm down to my last cry...cry_

A couple of weeks later he was in his apartment preparing all his stuff for the flight… he had accepted and he was hoping about not regretting his choice… suddenly he heard someone knocking on the door, he opened surprised and he went more surprised when he noticed who was standing in front of him

- May I come in?- asked Neela softly

He shrugged and moved to let her passed

- What do you want? – he asked rudely

She froze… certainly she wasn't expecting this and she didn't find the words to explain herself… she became speechless for one second, so she cleared her throat

- I… just I want to make sure that everything was okay with you  
- Why?  
- I didn't see you in all day… I guess I was worry  
- You don't have to be, I'm fine  
- That's nice, I… think I should go…

She was leaving again… if that was her idea why the hell she went there in first place? He didn't know… he only knew that their friendship was buried…

_I was here, you were there  
I guess we never could agree  
While the sun shines on you  
I need some love to rain on me_

Ray moved to let her go and when he felt her leaving him definitively, he tried to control himself for not stopping her… she turned her head and faced him for the last time

- I guess I'll see you tomorrow- she muttered- goodnight Ray  
- Night- the word was empty but he didn't care

Her steps disappeared when she crossed the lobby and Ray listened to them… no, there wasn't any tomorrow for them… he wouldn't walk toward the County again, till he came back from California… but Neela didn't know it, he wondered what could be her reaction if she knew it

- _probably she didn't care_- he thought pessimistic

And he continued checking his stuff… the clock read almost 4 a.m., when a loud knock woke him up

- what the hell?- he wondered confused

So he walked toward the door and opened rubbing his eyes…and he saw her

- Neela? What are you doing here?  
- Why did you didn't tell me?- she asked- that you're going to California, Kerry told me, and I… this can't be true  
- But it is

She sobbed and Ray felt a stab in his heart, he didn't mean to cause her pain, and she was crying in front of him…

_Still I sit all alone  
Wishing all my feelings were gone  
Gotta get over you  
Nothin' for me to do _

He held her hand and closing the door beside them leaned her into the apartment, she hugged him with urge and buried her face in his chest

- stop please- he asked trying to part off- I don't want to see you crying  
- I'm sorry, I just… didn't know how to manage this… all of this  
- All of this?- he repeated with a confusion tone in his voice  
- You're leaving… you're leaving… me – she said

Ray faced her feeling half angry

- you're the one who left me in the first place Neela, when I didn't want nothing more than be with you, to give you my support you just turned around and walked away from me and you didn't care about how was I feeling you pushed me Neela, you pushed me away from your life  
- is this a kind of revenge?  
- Is that what you think?

Neela reminded in silence… and he looked at her incredulously, feeling a deep pain in his heart…

- if you don't mind I've got a flight – he said icily trying to hide the tears that started streaming down his cheek  
- please don't… don't go, I want your friendship back… I need you to be my friend… again

But Ray shook his head

- I don't want to be your friend  
- What?  
- You heard me… I don't want your friendship

New tears ran down her face, staining it and she didn't try to wiped them away, she only stared at him intently

_But have one last cry, one last cry  
__Before I leave it all behind  
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie  
I know I gotta be strong cause my life goes on and on and on and on _

- Why?- she asked sobbing  
- because I love you- he stated simply

He approached to her and kissed briefly her lips, parting off before she could do anything else… his fingers caressed her lips and wiped away her tears, he took his stuff and kissed her forehead

- I have to go… it was nice to meet you 'roomy'  
- Ray… please  
- It's better like this- he interrupted placing his finger over her mouth

He walked away and left her in the apartment shocked, when she was able to react tried to followed him, but the cab was already gone… she was there, crying because she loved him and she never told him…

_Im gonna dry my eyes right after I have my  
One last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind  
I gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time, been living a lie  
I guess I'm down  
I guess I'm down  
I guess I'm down to my last cry…_

Ray was sitting in the plane letting his last tears for Neela caressed his face… he thought he was going to another city and he was supposed to rewrite a new story… with Neela just like a good memory… he had to forget his feelings for her and even if he thought that would be hard… he knew he had to try...

**°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°  
so? what do you think?  
Beautiful Disgrace**


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